There Is A Funeral In My Heart, For Every Man I Loved（心葬) 

- Double Album By Fifi Rong 

Have you ever given up everything so your dream could live? …I did.

To let music live, I had to let everything else die in my heart.  But the ghosts of doomed romances had nowhere to go except to find their way into my upcoming solo Double Album ‘There Is A Funeral In My Heart, For Every Man I Loved (心葬)’: my greatest, most important and intimate body of work to date. 

5 years of writing, recording and producing this double album on my own went into making sure these delicately crafted, heart-aching ballads would heal in the midst of tragedy, and prepare you to smile at the end of your tears. I wanted it to be timeless. 

For I truly believe in creating soul resonance & meaningful connections between my art and aesthetes who can truly appreciate its multifaceted values. 

DOUBLE ALBUM TRACK LIST 

Album 1  (English: There Is A Funeral In My Heart, For Every Man I Loved） 

1. Out of clock 

2. Only Man 

3. Love Yourself First 

4. Another Me 

5. Distance 

6. Beg For More 

7. I refused to Break Down 

8. Alchemist 

9. I’m Enough 

10. Dream On 

11. Stay Away 

12. Another Me (Acapella) 

Album 2  (Chinese: 心葬) 

1. 来不及 （Out of clock） 

2. 流尘 （Only Man） 

3. 自爱（Love Yourself First） 

4. 另一个我 （Another Me） 

5. 距离 （Distance） 

6. 金石为开 （Alchemist） 

7. 足够 （I’m Enough） 

8. 梦之爱恋 （Dream On） 

9. 离开你 （Stay Away） 

10. 零度空间 (QFT) 

11.  唯美 （Art For Art's Sake） 

12. 另一个我  Another Me (无伴奏) 

Album Concept

In the creation of my double album, 'There Is A Funeral In My Heart, For Every Man I Loved (心葬),' I ventured into the depths of my soul, where music thrived while other passions withered. This journey, spanning five years of solitary writing, recording, and producing, gave birth to a series of heart-rending ballads. These songs are woven with the essence of lost loves, their spectral presences finding solace in the album's melodies. This work is not just a collection of songs; it's a healing ritual, a poignant invitation to find joy in the aftermath of sorrow, an endeavor to craft something that resonates beyond the constraints of time.

Story and Sound 

This double album mirrors my cultural duality, split evenly between English and Chinese, reflecting my Chinese-British heritage. It's a musical memoir, chronicling the loves and lives that have shaped me. The album delves into the paradox of strength in vulnerability, exploring how our deepest wounds often teach the most profound lessons. Out of over a hundred demos, I handpicked each track for its emotional resonance, ensuring that every piece touched me deeply from inception to completion. The production leans into a distinctly feminine, vocal-centric aesthetic, a reflection of my expertise as a female producer. A transformative ayahuasca retreat in 2019, guided by a Peruvian Shaman, inspired me to harness the raw, unfiltered power of the voice – the most intimate and potent instrument of the soul.

Album Artwork: Life-Size Painting 

The concept of commissioning my esteemed friend and supporter, Shane Rodrigues, to create a life-size hyper-realism acrylic painting stems from my desire to honor the years dedicated to crafting this double album as a 'sonic painting'.

Dylan Chubb, whom I had the fortune of meeting during the 2019 Ayahuasca retreat, serves as the art director and photographer for this album. Additionally, my graphic designer, Eric from Kahinienn Graphix, transitioned from being an admirer of my work to a pivotal collaborator, working closely with me on a daily basis.

A Deeper Journey: Pain, Acceptance and Transcendence 

The album is a portrait of human condition archetypes, presented as a collection of unrequited love stories from the perspective of a woman who tragically and willingly enters romantic affairs doomed from the start. In a way, she has crafted her own narratives and repeatedly played the same role ritualistically, yet remains unaware of the reasons.

She cycles through a pattern of attachment and detachment, with each encounter and departure symbolizing love as an elusive flame, ultimately extinguished like a dream from the day before. In her songs, she narrates these tales while seeking answers and, ultimately, transcendence. She embraces the pain of each chosen experience, but must heal her wounds in solitude, thus invariably leaving each situation and returning to her inherent state of otherworldliness.

This explains why she conducts a funeral ritual for every man she once truly loved, only to inevitably forget and erase him from her heart. Despite her vulnerable, feminine, and melancholic exterior, she possesses an indomitable strength, allowing her to engage with love earnestly each time, and prepare herself for the next emotional adventure or life's upheaval.

People of all genders may find a piece of themselves in her at different times, as she embodies the collective consciousness: fear, pain, insecurity, lust, loss, disappointment, suffering, loneliness, and the longing to be loved. The sequence of pain she endures symbolizes the unenlightened egoic state of human conditions — that of conditional love.

Emotionally, I became her while writing these songs

Final Thought 

This album is dedicated to all who have endured heartbreak, pain, and suffering. Let us collectively hold funerals for our pains and embark on a journey of healing together.

I take immense pride in this album, so much so that if I were to pass away tomorrow, I would do so content. However, as long as I am alive, it is both my duty and honor to share this work with you and the world.

For most of my life, becoming the music artist I am today seemed an unattainable dream. This is why I urge you to liberate yourself and live your truth, regardless of your circumstances or age.